But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

                                                                                                            1 Peter 2:9

Have you ever had such negative self talk that you’re beyond certain that what you have told yourself is the only truth there could possibly be? That even though you did what you felt God called you to do, that it was just awful…

I have been there so many times that I don’t believe there is a number high enough to use.  I have told my self so many times that I am not good enough, that I can not be used, that what I just did for God was not good enough that I began to believe it!

What I forgot in my selfishness is that every time I think these negative things about myself, that I grieve God, my maker. The One Who thinks that I am special beyond belief. He created me to be His child. He chose ME!  

I just returned from a mission trip to Haiti. There is something about being in a place where you just let go and let faith happen that does my heart good.  My insecurities are off the charts for pretty much everything.  While in Haiti I was asked at the last minute to sing.  My first thought was, “Really, God? You know I am not a soloist!” immediately I remembered that I went on this trip with the intent of doing what was asked of me. Even if it meant finding a song and singing with little time to prepare!  Standing there in midst of students, parents, other singers God blessed what I did for Him.  And I somehow have managed to allow the devil to tell me how terrible it must of REALLY sounded.  Today, God put someone right in front of me to hear what God wanted me to hear...  I walked into a store today and the first thing I hear is “Man this girl has pipes, you should’ve heard her sing in Haiti.” 

God gracefully opens our eyes and ears giving us the assurance we so often need through others. Through those that He has placed right there for us to hear His words, to feel His love.  I will praise Him, for He is real no matter how I feel!!